When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”
John 20:19-31
A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.
My sermon from the 2nd Sunday of Easter (April 19, 2020) on John 20:19-31.
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So in our church tradition, the Sunday after Easter is always focused on Thomas. Jesus, who is busy visiting his disciples, has just risen from the tomb and, according to John, the first person he revealed himself to is Mary Magadalene. Jesus told her to go – tell the other disciples what she had seen and heard. She’s basically the first Christian – the one who outright tells others that another chapter in her and in Jesus’ story was already being written. After telling the other disciples about her experience – they gathered together in a locked room later that evening. We can sort of imagine that those disciples were probably emotionally and spiritually and maybe even physically – processing the whirlwind of events that had just happened over those last few days. The community chose to stay close and to see how they could help one another through the experience they were currently living in. They had, for years, been with Jesus as he offered them a life centered in love and grace – and they watched as he was arrested, tried, and crucified. But now there was a new part of that story – a resurrection story – that seemed to conflict and challenge and even change the previous parts of their story that they had already lived out. Their fears and their hopes were all mixed up in a swirling mess of emotions that they were trying to figure out. Some of them, I bet, tried to talk their way through their experience but found themselves talking way too much because they couldn’t wrap their story into something neat and comfortable. And others might have been the exact opposite – sitting in silence because they didn’t have the right words to describe what they were going through. The disciples, I think, were mixed up – and that’s when Jesus took the initiative to show up. He didn’t wait until all the right people were in the room. And he didn’t wait until everyone in that space had come to terms with everything that they were feeling. Rather, while his followers all mixed up – Jesus chose to show up – because God’s grace can always hold us exactly as we are.
Yet not everyone was there. And it was after all of that when Thomas finally showed up. It’s hard to not feel for the guy because he wasn’t in the room where everything happened. For centuries, we’ve called him Doubting Thomas because he seemed to question the validity of what his friends were telling him. And I guess, on one level, we can do that. We can call Thomas’ statement an expression of doubt. But, for me at least, I don’t really want to downplay anything Thomas said. Because, in this moment, I sometimes feel exactly like he did. All Thomas wanted was to have the same experience everyone else had. He, like all the other disciples, had followed Jesus for a while. And I imagine Thomas didn’t think of himself as being any better or any worse than any of others. Yet when Jesus showed up, Thomas wasn’t there. I’ll admit that, during this pandemic, there are days when it’s just hard to see Jesus. And the faithful words about Jesus that I hear other people say – doesn’t really match with what I’m going through. It’s hard to be on the sidelines and reconcile how some of the people I know who’ve contradict the coronavirus had no symptoms – while so many others have suffered and died. It’s hard to see if Jesus is present when so many of us have lost our jobs, been furloughed, or have seen a cut in our salary. And it’s hard to lean on Jesus when you’re worried that you might not even have the health insurance you need to live through this health crisis. I’m personally finding it very hard to listen to all the conversations about this virus “peaking” and the urge for everything to get back to the way things were. Because, to me, that seems to miss the fact that our lives have changed. We’re already looking at the world in a different way and we’re figuring out how to live differently so that we can keep ourselves and each other safe. Families have been living in fear – wondering if their loved ones are safe while at work, in the nursing home, or on their own. Some of us are going to have to live into a new normal where our beloved friends or family members are gone. And we all, I think, have already started changing how we live our lives.
I think Thomas had already started to do that too. And so when he showed up in that room after Jesus had showed up to everyone else, his words weren’t really centered on doubt. Rather, he was telling the truth about how Jesus’ life and death had already changed how he living into the next part of his story. And what he needed in that moment – was hope. But the hope he needed wasn’t a hope that would make everything go back to the way things were. Rather, he wanted a hope that valued the life he actually lived. That meant that everything life had given him – the joys, the laughter, the fears, the tears, and even his time with Jesus – needed to be wrapped up by a hope that would not end. And I think Thomas asked for this because that’s who Jesus was to him. Jesus wasn’t just this all powerful and all amazing person who validated every previous belief and view of the world that Thomas had. Rather, Jesus lived a life that kept pointing to a new reality where God’s kingdom of love would reign. That love challenged Thomas because it forced him to live in a new way. Yet that love also gave him hope because it showed how God was willing to get into the messiness of our lives and show us that we were worth so much more. What Thomas wanted was the hope Jesus already gave to others. Because when Jesus showed up, he was still wounded. The places where the nails pierced him and the spear struck him were not wiped away or even turned into scars. What happened to him in life was still a part of him because all of Jesus mattered. And if all of Jesus’ story matter – Thomas’ story – and even our story – mattered too. Thomas asked for a hope that would be big enough to hold the entirety of his life and, somehow, transform it into something new. And then, while Thomas was living his life, Jesus showed up – because even when we can’t see it – God’s hope always remains.
So right now, you might see Jesus pretty easily. He keeps showing up in the ways you check-in with your friends and neighbors, especially those who are elderly and those who are alone. He’s there whenever you support a food pantry, make a mask for healthcare workers, and keep your social distance when you’re at the store or outside. He’s there in the million ways you keep holding people and the world in your prayers. And I know he’s showing up through the work you’re already doing – as parents teaching and taking care of your kids; as employees working from home; as retails workers keeping shelves shocked; and as healthcare workers helping to heal everyone is sick. I know Jesus is there in the moments when you chose to love unconditionally – even when you’re not really feeling it. But it also can be hard to see Jesus – because there’s a ton of loneliness, grief, anxiety, and fears in our lives and in our world. And if you’re like me, you might be finding yourself zooming back and forth between those realities multiple times a day. None of what you’re experiencing is unfaithful. None of what you think of as doubt is somehow keeping you from Christ. Rather, he is already with you – because he has claimed you in your baptism and in your life with him. We’re not called to live as if our story or our experiences do not matter. We’re not called to offer a false hope that acts as if this moment in our lives is somehow unimportant. Rather, we are called to proclaim and to lean into a Savior who is with us through all things. And he is already here with you – writing a new chapter in your life filled with grace, light, and love.
Amen.