1 A soft answer turns away wrath,
Proverbs 15:1-9
but a harsh word stirs up anger.
2 The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge,
but the mouths of fools pour out folly.
3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place,
keeping watch on the evil and the good.
4 A gentle tongue is a tree of life,
but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.
5 A fool despises a parent’s instruction,
but the one who heeds admonition is prudent.
6 In the house of the righteous there is much treasure,
but trouble befalls the income of the wicked.
7 The lips of the wise spread knowledge;
not so the minds of fools.
8 The sacrifice of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,
but the prayer of the upright is his delight.
9 The way of the wicked is an abomination to the Lord,
but he loves the one who pursues righteousness.
My sermon from the 14th Sunday after Pentecost/Holy Cross Sunday (September 14, 2025) on Proverbs 15:1-9.
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Earlier this week, a poll was published that asked 18-29 year olds their thoughts about success. Over 30,000 adults were invited to pick 3 out of thirteen phrases that defined what success looked like to them. These words ranged from “being financially independent,” to “having no debt,” and to “making your family or community proud.” Then, with all that information gathered, the pollsters shared which phrases mattered to people from a variety of backgrounds. Out of the thirteen options, the one at the bottom was a need to be influential and famous. The generation that grew up with social media has no real desire to be recognized while walking down the street. They also don’t imagine success having anything to do with retiring earlier since, I think, a lot of people assume that option will never exist for them. We might assume that most of us have a similar definition of what success is supposed to look like. But as we moved up the list for these 18-29 year olds, what success looked like changed depending on which sub-group they belonged to. For some men having children, achieving financial independence, and being married are a big part of what it means to be successful. Yet for women, having children and experiencing matrimony are way down on the list. There was, for some people, a deep desire to use their talents to help those around them. And for others, an expensive housing market makes owning a home less important than maintaining some emotional stability. How people ranked these different aspects of success could have laid out a roadmap of what a successful life would look like. Yet the old idea of starting a career, getting married, buying a home, and then having kids was – for most – completely out of order. The image of success other generations developed, embraced, and passed on wasn’t necessarily reflected in the definition these 18-29 year olds were actively living out. And that’s because what’s wise to us might not be wise to those who come after us. Realizing might be hard for some of us to accept. But rather than wondering what’s wrong with kids these days, we might want to ask deeper questions about how wisdom shapes the life God wants us to live.
Now we started our journey through this wisdom last week by opening up the book of Proverbs. This book is, to me, kind of like a soundtrack for our lives since these short phrases become the lyrics and music that guides the choices we make. The initial audience for Proverbs was originally sons from wealthy families who were about to enter some kind of government service. Yet the need to grow in wisdom is something all of us are called to do. Not everything we consider to be wisdom, though, comes from our Bible. And so I invited you last week to take a moment and write down what things others have passed down to you. A few of you did touch on faith – sharing that “mom always said ‘treat others as you would like to be treated’ and how “letting go – and letting God” is a helpful corrective whenever we try to micromanage our lives. “A winner never quits and a quitter never wins” is something I’m sure football coaches all over the country said this weekend. And learning how to “control what you can control” is something I continue to work on. Putting “one foot in front of the other,” “think before you act,” and “you make your bed, you sleep in it” remind us of the impact our words and actions always have. And I appreciate the one who wrote “check the door knob” since it’s so easy to assume the solution to every problem has to be hard. This wisdom was a gift from those we trusted – and those who we admired – serving as a guide to light our way through every joy and challenge that comes our way. And while wisdom should guide us into a more life-giving future, that isn’t the only path we can take. The book of Proverbs recognizes how our choices, actions, what we choose to pay attention to, and what we ignore often shapes what comes next. And when we put our trust in anything other than grace, mercy, and God – our fears will tear us down. Proverbs uses a lot of two line verses to invite us into a different kind of future that won’t necessarily be easy or full of peace and comfort. Yet this other future trusts that God’s way is the only Way that can carry us through. So throughout the book of Proverbs, this wisdom is fleshed out in words we’re invited to embrace. We’re asked to recognize how “a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger.” When we choose to let “a gentle tongue [be] a tree [for] life” rather than letting our words bite and harm, we allow God’s spirit rather than our own spirit shape every relationship we have. What we say, post, and share should be a kind of knowledge building others up rather than simply existing to tear them down. And that’s because God’s wisdom isn’t meant to only stay on the page. It is, rather, lived out through the interactions we have with everyone God brings our way. We often assume the good we share should feel spontaneous and be incredibly easy to do. But God’s way often requires us to make hard choices so that love, welcome, and inclusion are always at the heart of what we say and do. God’s way isn’t always the easiest way because we need to be held accountable for the various ways we put pride, wealth, comfort, and ideology before everything else. And while we often long for the kind of success that will give us peace for all of our days, the only thing that will – is a God who refuses to let the Crosses we build for ourselves and others be the end to the story.
Now I know not all of us are 18 to 29 years old but I wonder if we might take the next few moments and write down our own views about success. On the back of your bulletin are three questions and you can also write down your answers as comments on facebook and youtube. What does success look like to you? Is it having a fulfilling career, a large family, a life that impacts others, or a bank account full of all kinds of money? Our vision of success is often reflected in the rules we grew up with so did you have to do your homework right after school, read for 30 minutes every night, head to college, or clean your plate at every meal? And finally, what wisdom do you share with all the young people around you? What goals, practices, and ways of being in the world do you think will help them shape the future they want for themselves? We’re going to take the next three or four minutes to answer these questions and write those answers down before moving onto the song. And while the wisdom we were given might have brought us to where we are today, we can also trust that God’s wisdom will always do so much more.