Well kid, we finally did it. Your mother is a fan of Standing Room Only, a Broadway showtunes show from WERS in the Boston area. So today, as you listen to your first broadcast of it (which is a Saturday tradition in this household), she called in “Consider Yourself” from the musical Oliver. It is playing as I type. And you seem to be pooping, or burping, or doing something that caused you to chirp out while it plays. I’m glad you’re excited about it. This will not be the last time you hear this musical, by far.
Category: Fatherhood
My favorite nickname for Oliver so far
I’m glad my friend Krista told me about how babies, for some reason, spasm like crazy when they sleep. Oliver will be sleeping soundly and then BAM, his arms are flailing like its 1984 and he’s voguing in a NYC club. And, just as quickly, his arms have returned to a semi normal position. So far, he has one flail that he seems to repeat and it is becoming my favorite. His arms will zoom outwards across his chest like he is a wizard casting a spell. In the hospital, he somehow did this while wearing mits and completely swaddled. The mits came off, his swaddle didn’t stand a chance, and I’m pretty sure he Avada Kedavra’d his diaper at the same time. Oliver is the new Lord Voldemort and he is ready to dance.
Proverbs 12, meet Mr. Oliver
On Thursday night, while Oliver was being born, I flipped open my ELW: Pastor Care Occasional Services, Readings, and Prayers, looking for anything that spoke to me. I dung threw the various chapters, flipped open a few psalms, and I was ready to post an angry blog post about how I didn’t see any prayers dealing with the birth of the baby. So, yes, while the miracle of life was happening, I was composing a blog post in my head for this website. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Alas, that angry blog post will never appear because I finally found those prayers this morning (that page in the table of contents just never materialized for some reason). So on Thursday night, I took part of my wife’s grandmother’s tradition and opened up Proverbs 12 (since it was the twelfth day of the month) for a little look-see. Here’s what I found.
Proverbs 12:4 “A good wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Funny, but not sure if this is the best thing to share with the wife in the middle of labor (but I did it anyways).
Proverbs 12:8 “One is commended for good sense, but a perverse mind is despised.” I hope this verse never discovers that things that I have laughed at on the internet (my love of animated gifs will never die).
Proverbs 12:10 “The righteous know the needs of their animals, but the mercy of the wicked is cruel.” Chula and Twinkie enjoy quoting this about 2 hours before their scheduled dinnertime, hoping it will trick me into feeing them early.
Proverbs 12:14 “From the fruit of the mouth one is filled with good things, and manual labor has its reward.” I’m not sure if programming on the internet and blogging counts as manual labor but I hope so.
Proverbs 12:15 “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to advice.” I hope Oliver considers this when he is in high school.
Proverbs 12:24 “The hand of the diligent will rule, while the lazy will be put to forced labor.” This…this could be read dangerously I think. The poor are just lazy? Those who enslave are diligent? Are corporations diligent people? Etc. Etc.
Proverbs 12:25 “Anxiety weighs down the human heart, but a good word cheers it up.” I experienced this all the time over the last five days.
Proverbs 12:28 “In the path of righteousness there is life, in walking its path there is no death.” I like this. I hope it suits you, kid.
Oliver comes home!
Oliver has come home! We left the hospital at around 1 pm this afternoon and I walked him home in a baby sling (he slept the whole time). So far, the cat is nonchalant, the dog keeps losing her mind, and Oliver keeps doing what new borns do – sleep, eat, and cry.
It has been a busy couple of days
There’s a reason why I haven’t really posted anything this week and I would like to show you what that reason is.
My little guy entered the world on July 12!
More to come but based on the last two days, and his hand motions, this guy either likes to call everything a touchdown or has his dukes up, ready for a karate fight. Either way, he seems to be ready for everything.
Our Birth Plan…
…My favorite bits:
In lieu of a traditional hospital gown, Jamie would prefer to be dressed like Zooey Deschanel in 500 Days of Summer.
Please provide WiFi so we can check what you say against Wikipedia and our favorite mom blogs.
We have chosen a Doctor (“Mr. Cooper”) because he shares our desire for a natural, low-intervention birth. Mr. Cooper will deliver the baby via Skype from his home in Taos.
Yes. So very yes.
P is for Punk
Uh oh. My wife just sent me a link to Punk Baby Clothes Dot Net. Must.Buy.Things.
Now, to be honest, most of the stuff listed is junk. Not to get all Andy Rooney on you, but just because something has a skull on it doesn’t make it punk. In fact, that does the exact opposite to that piece of mass manufactured, Hot Topic inspired, item. And speaking of selling out, I would also like to take this moment to also tell parents that just because your kids listen to your music does not make them punks. It doesn’t make them cool. There’s a good chance that the kid, once exposed to the wider world, will be reduced to Bieberism and One Connection-itis before the next full moon. The fact that your kid has to suffer your music does not automatically make them a fan. I’m fully aware of that. And I expect that I’ll see my kid bopping out to the Old 97s someday and, for a moment, I’ll forget what I just wrote and think that “great! my kid has taste!” But, alas, who knows what will happen. And the fact that I’ll be the dad, well, there’s a chance I’ve just made all my favorite bands completely uncool just because I like them.
But some of these items are pretty great. The kid will need a gray fedora for his first Social Distortion concert. There’s also this Ramones onesie. I enjoy this shirt with a ninja in a hoodie because that was my default look through most of high school. I also particularly enjoy punkling since every time I call the baby kidling on this blog, my brother reads kindling and has to read the sentence again. And we can’t forget the rocketship because, kid, whatever happens, I hope you at least learn to have big dreams.
Phasers on Meltdown
A few days ago a friend called me up to see if I would like to go to the Cloisters with her and her newborn babe. Now, this is embarrassing to admit but even though I have spent more than half my time in NYC in Washington Heights, I have never been there. We set a time and a date (and it helped that she was bringing over some extra babby stuff she received) and she offered to drive me. I was excited.
Now, she arrived, gave me a call, and I headed down the stairs. When I got outside, she was in the backseat of her car. It seems her newborn had decided that she hates to be in the backseat of a car all alone and was having a meltdown. There were tears (which were new), moaning, yelling, crying, etc. Nothing seemed to calm her down. She would calm herself, seem okay, and then get herself excited all over again. I tried jingling my keys, which only worked for a moment, and tried to make funny faces at her. But alas, only time with mom seemed to work. We never made it to the museum but during the forty minutes we tried to soothe the babe, I learned a new things. I first learned that I was the first person to see her meltdown – she had yet to do that (hopefully that is not my effect on babies). My friend was also filling me in on all things she kept calling her pediatrician about. It seems newborns get acne, seem to breath in a fashion that makes them hyperventilate, lose their hair, sleep with their eyes partially open, and do all sorts of things that are going to freak me out. I feel like some of this information is in some of the half-dozen books I’ve read but not all. That whole eyes partially open thing? Totally wild and freaky. I’m not sure I really want to walk by my kidling’s crib to see his eyes darting about as he sleeps. I’ve watched enough Supernatural to know that is never a good sign.
How to Open a NYC Fire Hydrant
As a future New York City Father, Jack Spade provides some of the most important information I need to know. And since I live in Washington Heights, well, there is not one hydrant in the neighborhood with its original cap left – and only a few with a sprinkler.
