When did we give up our ability to dress ourselves?

Brides are deciding what we wear? Excuse me grooms, but this is inexcusable.

There is nothing wrong with the blog post above. In fact, it’s extremely well put together. In it, a bride shares pictures of suits/tuxes and her rational for what her lovely groom will wear on his wedding day. She googles, she shops around, she makes an informed decision. She finds a tux rental look that she really likes (and I might steal depending on how my budget works out). I disagree on calling it hipster but that’s a minor detail. Being in New York and a bit of a fashion diva myself, hipster is a specific term for me. A tux without a cumberband isn’t hipster. It’s not vintage either. Rather, I’d call it modern. It’s a good look and, depending on how form fitting it is, it can be pretty fantastic. So why am I disappointed with that post? It’s this line specifically.

No offense to all of those brides that are choosing tuxedos for the menswear on their big day, but they are just not for my wedding.

Dudes. When did this happen?

Let Neil Patrick Harris help you help yourself!

We’re part of the patriarchy. We’re suppose to own the world. We make 25% more than our female counterparts, our professional sports teams dominate their women competition, we’ve served as the primary combat forces for 40,000 years. And yet, on our marriage day, we’ve given up our ability to dress ourselves. We can push a button and destroy the world but we crap our pants when it comes figuring out what kind of suit we should wear on our wedding day. And if you are one of the few who DO care, you’re considered weird, out of touch, and “different”. Shame shame shame.

An engaged groom can’t be like this. Having a look that goes with your bride is fantastic and should be encouraged on your wedding day. And if you are going the traditional route and not seeing her dress before the big day, her input on how to match her dress is extremely important. But that doesn’t mean that a groom should give up the opportunity to dress his best on his big day. Grooms across the world should be doing what that bride above did and not leaving it up to their bride to be. Research, learn, study, and pick up a Details or GQ every once in awhile. It’s what an engaged groom SHOULD do. Just because it is taught in our American society that the bride and her family control the big day doesn’t mean that is how it always should be. They’re taught at a young age that they might have to handle their own wedding planning. Us guys are suppose to stand back. But this the 21st century. I’m not here to write a blank check and not be involved. If I didn’t want to have any influence in my own life, I’d still live with my parents.

Pick your socks. Pick your shoes. Pick your suit. Pick your tux. Show them with your bride, get involved with her style, learn what “goes” and what matches when you’re a couple on your big day. Since I’m going to be spending the rest of my life being asked “How do I look?” by my future wife, shouldn’t I at least have some knowledge and know what I’m talking about? Otherwise how will my “You look fine” ever really be honest? Fashion knowledge is useful knowledge people. And it’s about time grooms are forced to learn it.

2 thoughts on “When did we give up our ability to dress ourselves?”

  1. Glad to see you rallying men to take responsibility for this. Unfortunately, wedding planners don’t often see this kind of interest from grooms, leaving the bride to make these decisions on her own.

    Love the blog. Keep it up.

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