Author: MASadmin

It was a little before 11 am on Thursday when my supervisor called our church administrator and, like the way of all flesh, I was drafted for a task that my life experiences, in theory, have provided me with the right tools. That evening, I would take the church’s projector and be the techy for that evening’s speech by Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber, THE Sarcastic Lutheran, and head pastor/founder of House for All Sinners and Saints in Denver, Colorado. I was excited. I’ve been hearing about her ever since I started my seminary track and I wanted to see her in the flesh.

So, I did. And I enjoyed it.

The talk was part of a Project Connect retreat called “Listen! God is calling!” A handful of young adults thinking about church leadership were in attendance. Even though it wasn’t well advertised by our synod, the audience included that handful, and roughly fifty seminary students, pastors, high school students, and me. And, like all good church congregations, I sat by myself in the second row. But that was a-ok with me. I wanted to not be distracted by the hair of anyone in front of me.

I was hoping that Rev. Nadia would tell her story – and she did. She did a great job with “I” statements – this was her story, not “our” story. It was a story of her journey, her church, her experience of the law and gospel. I swore I heard a little Dr. Wengert in her when she kept saying that she’s willing to be thrown infront of the bus of law – and just how awesome Lutheran theology, and God’s grace, is. I’m glad she mentioned that because I’m with her on that one. We, as a church, need to do a better job at tooting our own horn. The Lutheran perspective is awesome. More than awesome, really. And it should be shouted from the freakin’ rooftops.

But scattered throughout her talk, panel response, and Q&A, were tidbits of data and theories that I wrote down. The fact that her church is only 4.5 years is important to note – and that they’re hoping to be self-funding in 18 months. The idea of shared leadership in the liturgy, democratizing the space, and a pro-participation model towards liturgy has helped her church. Her church is a place that can hold pain and, yet, express and experience carnival within the gathering. And her church is rooted in a model of authority where authority is shared and given. I don’t think this would work in all churches but it was neat to see how it worked in her community. I also thought it was neat that she shared her experience that, as a church planter, how she goes, the church goes. If she’s anxious, the church is anxious. If she’s great, the church is great. And it tied into something she’s been talking with her intern about – the notion of holding “space” for the congregation.

This is something I experienced when I presided for the first time. And, really, it is different than preaching, surprisingly. By being the focal point of the congregation, I, in many ways, found myself holding their space. I held whatever they brought to church that day: their certainties, their love, joys, pains, sufferings, doubts – and even their distractions as they checked their email on their iPhones in the middle of the sermon. And I’m sure since I actually believe that the ritual I’m participating in is worth something, that the breaking of bread, the singing of songs, the hearing of scripture, and the fellowship with one another – we are not only being the church but we are having faith, and gospel, done at us – I felt a spiritual, physical, and emotional weight just holding all that energy in that place. And I think it’s different being an intern and holding that space and being a called pastor. A called pastor is put into that place by the congregation. The congregation is giving that pastor that authority and responsibility to hold that space. For an intern, like me, I’m not called by the congregation to be in that space. I’m given the opportunity to learn and experiment with what it means to hold that space. As much as I enjoyed it, I was a partial interloper to that experience. It was a temporary jump into that space – a jump with a time limit. It’s possible, and I have no evidence to back this up, that ordination by the church – an external call and the giving of the stole – actually helps shore up the individual to hold that space that they are called to hold. Without that external call, that external promise through the church, and without the help of God, this holding of space…well..the weight of it all, week after week, would just plain be unbearable.

I’m glad I saw her and I’m glad she’s part of the church. I’m glad for all the work she’s done. And I’m glad that not only does she turn off certain aspects of the church (she’s punk rock, what what), I’m glad that she, at least, proclaims a story that is big enough to not be limited to who she is. In the ELCA, she has a lot of hype. Her church is big news. Her church is sexy. She, herself, is exotic, in the not-your-typical-Lutheran, way. But her story isn’t the only story – even if our current church promotion seems to act like her story, and other churches like hers, are the wave of the future/the only way the ELCA will survive/death to all who are not similar, etc etc. I hope everyone in the audience took to heart her story as an example of how our stories can actually breathe life into the capital C Church. Because if we’re unwilling to share our stories, why should we expect anyone to actually listen to the Story?

Delievered at Advent Lutheran Church. Lessons and Carols. Isaiah 9:2-7; Luke 1:26-33,38; Luke 2:1-14; Luke 21-36; Matthew 2:1-11; John 1:1-14

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So ‚Äì here we are ‚Äì in an intermission of sorts ‚Äì halfway through our lessons and our carols. Each time we’ve encountered the words of God’s story ‚Äì words that were read and lovingly spoken out loud – and we responded in song. We started with Isaiah, and we sang; we then heard Gabriel’s greeting with Mary, and we sang; we heard of the census and Jesus’s birth; and we sang. And now we just heard of Jesus’s circumcision, his naming, and presentation, of Simeon and Anna, and the Temple ‚Äì and then there’s me ‚Äì before the song; before we all gather together, join our voices , and sing ‚Äì there’s this ‚Ķ this intermission ‚Äì but unlike a Broadway show ‚Äì the curtain is still up ‚Äì and….and there you all are ‚Äì staring at me ‚Äì in this moment before the song.

It’s a strange space, really, to be right here, right now ‚Äì and ‚Äì it’s a little intimidating. I wonder if it’s like how Mary felt ‚Äì right when the angel appeared ‚Äì before Gabriel spoke; before she heard the words of promise; before she sung her own song ‚Äì a song we heard during Advent. Or when Zechariah heard of the promise that was coming in John ‚Äì right before he disagreed with the words of the angel ‚Äì in that moment before the action; before something happened; before the words come. Or maybe this is kinda like how Jesus looks back on his life because ‚Äì the Christmas story, the story of Jesus’ youth ‚Äì it’s a story where Jesus doesn’t actually do anything. Sure, Luke has that story about Jesus running away to the Temple when he’s twelve ‚Äì but, other than that – we hear a lot about what happens either because of Jesus or what happens to Jesus. He’s born ‚Äì swaddled ‚Äì circumcised ‚Äì named ‚Äì carried ‚Äì put into the arms of people that he doesn’t know ‚Äì he’s blessed, prayed over, but there’s nothing about his cooing, crying, laughter ‚Äì or any of the baby things he did. Before his ministry ‚Äì his early life, to us, is a mystery ‚Äì a moment before his voice, before his action, before his obedience ‚Äì before the Cross ‚Äì before his song.

I grew up in Colorado ‚Äì and my high school, Arapahoe High School ‚Äì Go Warriors! – had a relationship with the Arapho tribe in Wyoming. Each year, the son of the chief would come down from Wyoming and give a scholarship to a member of the graduating class. So this son would stand up on the podium in our football stadium ‚Äì with his back to all our parents and guests, facing 500 suburban kids in rented gowns and hats ‚Äì and he just waited. Everyone’s eyes were fixated on him and he waited. And waited. In the space between his introduction and his speech ‚Äì in that moment before his song ‚Äì there’s this….energy ‚Äì the kind of energy that only silence can bring ‚Äì an energy that fills the air. Even nervous laughter, or the wisecracks from my friend, or a distant car honk couldn’t interrupt it. Nothing could cause that space to end ‚Äì nothing but his words ‚Äì his spoken words. And we all sat there ‚Äì and waited with him ‚Äì until he spoke.

I learned later that what finally caused him to close that open space was an eagle. Next to the football field, behind our backs, was a small creek with elms, oaks, and Aspens. And as he looked out over us ‚Äì after a few minutes ‚Äì he saw this eagle fly out ‚Äì and then he knew that it was time to speak. It’s funny, because I don’t actually remember anything that he said. But I do remember that pause.

The Christmas story ‚Äì as we see it expressed in our lessons today ‚Äì in the voice of Luke, the magi of Matthew, and the opening lines of John ‚Äì all were written decades after Jesus’s death and resurrection. Scholars will argue until the end of the time, how these authors put these writings together ‚Äì what their sources were, how accurate they were, the communities they wrote in, what their motivation were ‚Äì what was it that filled the space before their songs. And we, gathered here, will spend our time reading these stories ‚Äì God’s stories ‚Äì and spend our time with these stories in our own pauses ‚Äì in our own spaces before our completed songs. Because that’s the amazing thing about Christmas ‚Äì and why Christmas isn’t just one day long ‚Äì because God chose to be born ‚Äì to live ‚Äì in that pause before the song. So much of Jesus’ story ‚Äì his years as a child ‚Äì his years before his ministry ‚Äì it is a mystery. It’s unknown. And that unknown space ‚Äì it’s a space that wants to be desperately filled. Even in the early 2nd century ‚Äì people wanted that story filled. They wanted to hear about how God lived life on earth ‚Äì what wonders he did ‚Äì what powers Jesus showed ‚Äì what fame was won. They wanted to see the greatness of God living ‚Äì conquering ‚Äì overpowering ‚Äì the space where we live our lives – before the healing ‚Äì before the travels ‚Äì before the loaves and fishes ‚Äì before the eating with outsiders ‚Äì before…before the Passion and the Cross.

But the space before that ‚Äì that space before Jesus’ song is very large and very quiet. The space between Christmas and Easter ‚Äì it is large. We don’t know about Jesus’ relationships. We don’t know his education. We don’t know if he spoke Greek, if he spoke Hebrew, if he had a favorite toy, a favorite friend, or if he ever got turned down when he asked someone out. We don’t know his hurts ‚Äì his joys ‚Äì his frustrations. We have this very large pause ‚Äì but I find it to be a very grateful pause ‚Äì because it is not static ‚Äì it’s active ‚Äì dynamic ‚Äì a space big enough to hold all our fears ‚Äì joys – loves ‚Äì loss ‚Äì and this space ‚Äì this space is held ‚Äì not by the baby Jesus, or the child Jesus, or the infant Jesus ‚Äì but the risen Jesus, the resurrected Jesus – the promised Jesus ‚Äì the Jesus who lived a human life ‚Äì a life filled with holes ‚Äì and secrets ‚Äì and stories that did not come down to us ‚Äì but stories that are our stories ‚Äì our true stories. And Jesus holds that space wide open ‚Äì because it is in in that space where God builds a space for us. The Christmas Story isn’t a story about us making space for God ‚Äì of letting go and letting God ‚Äì but is a story of God being God whether we wanted it or not; of God being big enough to have a space for all of us – and all of who we are ‚Äì not as we wish we were ‚Äì but as we truly are ‚Äì right now. That space ‚Äì that unknown space after Jesus’ birth and before his baptism ‚Äì is our space; it’s our pause; it’s our moment before our completed song ‚Äì and it is in that space where our song is joined with Jesus’ song. Emmanuel ‚Äì God-with-us, God-for-us, God-with-the-space-for-all-of-us ‚Äì that is the Christmas song. That is our song. And that is our daily gift ‚Äì a daily gift that, unlike Christmas Day, or 2012, or even the twelve days of Christmas ‚Äì does not end.

Amen.