Pocket Sized Pastor*

I might not be the biggest fan of Wedding Bee but I do tend to enjoy their belief in over sharing in every detail of their wedding. Why? Because when they share their wedding budgets with you, they really share it with you.

When my fiancee and I were thinking about our budget, we had a number that we didn’t want to go over. We wanted everything, including honeymoon, rings, ceremony, and reception, to be under $10K. I have no real idea if that will happen or not (but if I don’t get a job soon, there’s a good chance that will definitely happen) but we’re trying to stick to it. Since we had an idea of the max we wanted to spend, we then tried to partion out how much money goes where and…well…we got stuck. There are formulas, of course, and the one at The Knot is the one we ended up doing but I always wondered if those formulas were realistic or not. With our budgets, they claimed that we could only spend $600 on photography. Please. There is no way to hire a professional wedding photographer in New York CIty who is not a friend or a friend of a friend and only pay $600. That barely covers the cost of a wedding album. So if the formulas got the photography wrong, did they get everything else wrong too? How can I come up with an accurate wedding budget when I’ve never had to plan a wedding before? The only way is to get real data from other brides and that’s where Wedding Bee steps in.

Mary Jane paid $10600 for her wedding – $1k on the actual day, 9k for the rings and the honeymoon.

The Penguins spent $42k – $31k on the day, $11k for the rings and honeymoon.

The Flamingos spent $28K – $25k on the day, $3k on the rings and honeymoon.

Here are some cheaper budgets from Bee brides – $12k and $17k.

The Puffs paid 17k.

And here are some more budgets too.

What’s good about seeing all this data upfront is that it helps you gauge where you can save, what costs a lot, and also shows you that when you’re planning your budget, you really need to focus on what’s important to you and splurge there while cutting back elsewhere. The #1 way to keep costs low, I’ve found, is to keep your guests lists small. Also, get your friends to do photography, cake baking, etc etc. That’s also an effective way to save money. That’s probably #2 tip that I don’t hear about enough – it’s mostly assumed and written in a one sentence throwaway statement. But I don’t thing wedding bloggers or writers really understand how crucial it is to have friends who are willing to help – not everyone has that.

I have decided if I’ll break out my budget for you after my big day or not. I probably will. It’ll hopefully help destroy the myth that you can’t have a fun wedding in New York City for less than a bazillon dollars.

Maple Syrup

I just like the idea of having gallons of maple syrup at a wedding. You know those ugly chocolate fountains? Fill them with syrup, have mini waffles on a stick and fruit to dip into the syrup. Oh man. If I did this, I’d probably start eating before the ceremony and miss the ceremony because I’d be eating all the waffles for my guests. I better get a tux with an elastic waistband.

Pop Up Wedding Chapels

A new trend in the wedding industry is to have small chapels popping up in public spaces. One in Brooklyn is sponsored by Martha Stewart. You get space for 20 guests, some cake, a minister, and the works for only $500. I like the idea. Rather than head off to Vegas, stay in NYC and at least get some cake. Have you noticed how no Vegas wedding seems to include cake? You never see pictures of cake or Elvis singing near a cake. There’s never a cake. That’s always bugged me.

12 tips for a frugal wedding

And most of the ideas evolve down to having your friends do stuff for you for free. That’s actually what most frugal wedding websites and ideas are about. You get your friends to take pictures for free. You get them to bake a cake. You get them to arrange your flowers. It’s all about using connections and hoping your friends are crafty. But what if you don’t have crafty friends? What if all your friends can only hook you up with new pop culture gossip? Then a lot of these ideas won’t work for you.

youbuymywedding

Jack and Jill parties have now hit the internet and it saves you the time and effort of actually throwing a party for your friends. I’ve never liked the idea of a Jack and Jill party (and it must be a regional thing because I never heard of it before I got to the North East) mostly because I’m against begging my guests for money to come to my wedding. But there are plenty of people who do it and if you need money, you need money. Sites like youbuymywedding exist to not really help anyone – they’re there to make a quick buck on weddings which are fairly recession proof right now. If you want a wedding you can’t afford, you should do the traditional thing which is charge it and hope your guests give you items you can return for cash. It’s the American way.

Who thought of Crocs as a good wedding favor idea? Oh. One of the biggest entertainment producer in Mexico’s little girl thought that. Great.

A WHOLE BASKET?!!

To be fair, the bride didn’t actually wear them but she did offer them to her wedding party. She wore sandals while everyone else wore hideous shoes. How perfectly passive aggressive of her. You can already hear how that conversation to her bridesmaids went. “Oh, your feet will be sore from standing in your very high heeled shoes that I made you buy. Here. Wear some crocs during the reception!” And since it is her special day, all the bridesmaids did exactly that. Such an epic fail. Don’t do this.

Bridesmaids out there, if you’re going to wear high heeled shoes that you know will kill your feet after awhile, have your date bring a pair of ballet flats and hold them for you during the ceremony. Or sneak some in your purse and have him/her/them hold your purse for you. You already have to wear the ugly dresses – don’t settle for ugly shoes. Stand up for yourselves! You’re a lovely person too.

And if you forget shoes, go barefoot. I’d rather see cracked cuticles than white crocs. Ugh ugh ugh.