Pocket Sized Pastor*

I should have gone to this.

Caterers need to copy these Filene’s Basement sales

Twice a year, brides-to-be attack Filene’s Basement in Union Square hoping to score a cheap wedding dress. With prices ranging from $100 into the thousands, and with all dresses being marked down, young women with their small teams arrive at Filene’s determined to find the “one” but on the cheap. Its basically the search for a dress in its most savage and primal form. You can’t go to one of these events and not be competitive, savage, and militaristic. 1300 brides, lined up for hours, with wedding whites and dollar signs sparkling in their eyes…I’m amazed people don’t get killed at these events. Black Friday has nothing on these ladies.

The average price for a wedding dress is $799 (I don’t think this includes alterations). If you go to theknot.com, for a $10,000 budget, they graciously think that your budget for a wedding dress should be $850 (which includes alterations) but doesn’t include headpiece or veil. For a long time, I automatically assumed that the wedding dress budget should include the veil/headpiece/sash/whatever but, well, I guess I was wrong. I have a hard time seeing a wedding outfit, be in a suit or a dress, as merely one component. My suit isn’t just a suit – it contains parts, accessories, cuff links, collar tabs, pocket squares, shoes, crazy socks, etc. It’s a whole and I like to treat the whole package as a whole. Why you would want to treat it separately, while good for the vendors, might not be best for the outfit. Why budget out 100 for the veil? Doesn’t that inherently lead someone to automatically make the unconcious mistake to think that the veil is separate from the outfit and can be decided on its own? Maybe, in general, women don’t make this mistake but I tend to run into problems when I think less about the outfit and more about the pieces and budgeting out the tie would cause my brain to flake when I don’t really want it to. Or maybe my wedding day deserves a big bold power tie that David Letterman would buy (though I’m guessing no on that regards).

Anyways, is attending some massive event like Filene’s basement sale worth it? In terms of the stress, the planning, and the money, maybe not. But I don’t see brides who attend events like these as really focusing on an objective sense of worth attached to this events (and the businesses count on this). The brides see dollar sign discounts, sport, and an outlet for the competitive “uniqueness” that is propagated in all wedding markets – from indie to budget to princess brides. You would think that more wedding vendors would do this besides dress sellers. Imagine a warehouse sale like this for decorations or photographers. You run in, grab a person holding a camera, have them take a few test shots, you look at their portfolio, and then you move on. Or you could do that with caterers or cake bakers. Okay. I would totally go to that last one. If there’s food, I’ll go. Hell, even if I had my food lined up, I’d still go to an event like that. It’s like Costco Saturday food samples on drugs. Someone needs to make this a reality and soon – I’ve only got 13 months till the big day.

Here’s a good post on how to create your own cake stands. It links to a step-by-step instruction and an online store to buy masonite cake stands. My only concern is the all black picture in the post. It reminds me of the holy grail scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. WHICH ONE IS THE RIGHT ONE? I’m not sure if impeding death based on your candy choice is the best vibe a candy buffet should have. Or maybe it is if you dislike your inlaws.

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Okay – I was the only one who instantly got this vibe. I should watch less tv.

I just think my brother now has the cake topper he wants when he renews his vows. I particularly love the fact that one of the dalek’s has a bow tie.

I totally agree with this blog post.

I have no idea why I think this way but, when I go to a wedding, I could really care less about the food except for the desserts. All I care about the sit down dinner/buffet/finger foods, etc is that they taste okay and they fill me up. I don’t remember what is served, how it tasted, what it smelled like. To me, none of that matters. However, the end of the meal and the desserts and cake are what I do remember. In fact, they’re usually what I look forward to the most at a wedding (which is probably why I think about it all the time while planning my own).

Is the problem that the American wedding tradition of a giant tiered cake is ingrained into my head? At this point, even if the couple says “I do”, if there is no cake or dessert at the end, it doesn’t count. I don’t care about the officiant, the setting, the license, the blood test, or the sharing of rings. But! If there’s cake! YES. The couple really is committed to each other. Don’t say it with diamonds – say it with cake.

And this kind of thinking colors my entire reception planning. Lately, I’ve been worried about my job. Well, okay, I’ve been worried about my job for about a year now – I still have it, thank God, but not having it is still a concern. Everyone in the US probably feels this way (if they’re still luckily employed) so it’s not easy to plan a wedding when the fear of unemployment (and as a freelancer, I don’t get unemployment insurance) is breathing down your neck. In fact, even yesterday, I mentioned to my fiancee that we might want to cut down on what we served at our reception (for 250+). And what did I mention that we should cut? The finger food and just make it a dessert reception. I’m such a boob. Even if we eloped or married at the last minute in Vegas or some other such nonsense, I’d still go buy a hostess cupcake before the ceremony and eat it right after. Or maybe a snowball. Mmmmm.