Going out of business sales are the best

Some people rent tuxedos. Some people have the money to go out and buy a brand new designer tuxedo. Some people, ditching the tux tradition, go out and buy a suit. I, myself, had debated about getting a suit – a Burberry suit made-to-measure from Barneys – but, due to my continuing unemployment, I had to put that last idea on hold. Instead, I walk by my gym a week ago and noticed that the tuxedo rental store (which I always thought was sketchy and lame) was going out of business. They were closing the store and they had a sale. At first, I just noticed that shoes were on sale for $20 a pair but, come on, who wants to own shiny shoes? I wore the same kind of shoe when I was in 9th grade Marching Band and I hated them then and I hate them now. They’re childish. A few days later though, there was a sign written on scrap paper and pasted to the window. It said $90 gets you a tux, tie, vest, and shirt. Yeah, I didn’t believe it either.

In fact, I totally thought it was joke and that the place wasn’t going to have anything that I want that I waited to even tell my fiancee about the sale. She went to the store after the gym just to do a quick run through the store. The guy asked her what size of a tux she was looking for. She told them my size. The sales clerk (and old greek guy – this is Astoria after all) said “You’re such a big girl. How did you end up with such a little man?” Customer service, they don’t have it.

Anyways, we both went back the next day. I walked in, the guy looked at me and asked me what kind of tux I was looking for. I said simply a dark grey tux that fit me. I didn’t expect any contemporary styles – this isn’t the type of place you go for a cool look. They only stock Brandon Michael tuxedos and they all looked slightly old (which might be why they went out of business). 95% of the stock was black tuxedo. The sales clerk figured it would be tough to fine my size so he went towards the back and dug around. He came back with two tuxedos to try. One was a 36 and hung on me like a smock. The next was just labeled small. I tried it on and looked in the mirror. It fit. It really fit. So I bought it.

I own a tux

The pants fit around the waist (when they told them I was a 27 inch waist, they acted as if no pants were ever made to fit such a waist) but they’re way too long and have way too much fabric in the leg. I like a slim, skinny leg which, sadly, I can’t seem to find in standard suit pants but that’s something I can get a tailor to fix. The vest is black satin, the tie isn’t the skinny tie that I like (I can buy that separate) and the vest, while it fits, has to be pulled so tight that the straps in the back poke out and make it appear as if I could be an extra in Total Recall. And the shirt, while it fits around the neck perfectly (14/14.5 for the win), there is so much fabric in the shoulders and arms, it looks like I’m a pirate, or, even worse, that I’m pretending to be a pirate. I’m not that big of an internet dork. Ugh. Part of my suit/tux shopping dilemma is that I want the clothing to reflect on the truth of how I look – a small, thin, in shape d00d. You would think that would be easy to get in NYC but it’s really not. I probably should eat more chips.

Note to self: don’t wear a tuxedo on the hottest, most humid, and ugliest day of the year.

The tuxedo isn’t perfect though. I wish the jacket was just a little shorter in length which I might get tailored if possible. But considering the tuxedo rental I had in mine would cost around $200 (including tax), you can’t beat a $90 dollar tux. It’s perfect. It’s so perfect, my fiancee’s dad asked my fiancee to pick up a tuxedo for him which she did because she’s a good daughter.

So I have a tux, my fiancee has her dress, and we’ve got a cake stand. This wedding is really starting to come together.